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Apply Some Emotional Intelligence

If your partner does these things, then it’s important to manage your reaction to keep a conflict from erupting. You can take a deep breath, you can give yourself a mini time-out to calm down, or you can be mindful of your own feelings. Ask yourself, "What is happening inside me right now? What do I need to do?" "What do I most want for our relationship, and how can I best get that to happen?" This buys you a little time to think before reacting.

When you can calm yourself, another great question to ask is, "What do I think is really going on with him/her?" Maybe your partner misses your snuggle time, or thinks you have time and energy for everyone else, or is stressed and worried about something. Your answer can suggest a way to respond, perhaps with a hug, scheduling some pleasant couple time, or a relaxing foot and/or back rub.




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