Resolving a Conflict

Have you ever noticed that the word “resolve” includes the word “solve”? When you disagree, have different agendas, or apparently incompatible beliefs about the same situation, solving the problem is paramount. Or sometimes we call it conflict resolution which suggests we need to look for a solution. Over 80% of conflicts can be resolved when you follow these three steps: 1. Stop talking and write down (you can both do this) the problem. Be as specific and detailed as possible, including what you are most worried about. 2. Then brainstorm (again, you can do this separately) ways to address it. Come up with lots of possibilities because there are more than one. 3. Compare your lists and share your options. You can explain why you think each would work. 4. Decide on one to try and begin right away. You can add a time limit like “Let’s try your idea for a week and then discuss how it’s going.” If it’s working, great. If it’s needing work, review the lists and choose another to try.